Losing track of the days....Yesterday I took a walk for the first time in a long time...it was wonderful. There was a cool breeze that cooled me down every now an then. When ever I feel the breeze I always like to imagine it is the breath of God. I love to feel His presence in my everyday life and am always looking for the subtle ways He reveals His presence to me.
I call them my jewels...those sparkling, glittering gems He places in my life as a reminder that I am His. Just like diamonds and most gems they are hidden not in plain sight...rocks have to be broken open or earth to be mined to find these precious stones. So I find it to be our game that we play together to uncover the subtly's of life that are to me...from my King.
From about day 30 to now I have been searching for some answers from God. I just have not been getting the reasons why I just stopped losing weight. I have always in my yo-yo dieting of life gotten lengthy plateaus. This is where my head starts to take over and takes me to the obsessive side of my weight loss...getting on the scale several times a day...getting discouraged when I don't see it move. I have done this for 26 years. This is insanity for me...where I cross the line. Usually this is where I always fail in my previous attempts at weight loss.
When I started the journey it was for health reasons...but when the scale stopped my journey switched over to being only about weight loss. One of my supporters just told be that the weight loss was just one of the perks...thanks Jada. I needed to hear that. That was a jewel from God. A subtle reminder from Him why I am on the journey. So I re-geared my thinking to get back on the right track why I am on this journey.
So the last few days I have been addressing this issue but trying to get to the "core" of my wrong thinking. Today I get an email from one of the groups I subscribe to. It was talking about the "boxes" we put ourselves into with out realizing it due to our subconscious thinking. This is another journey I have been on for the last year to try and reprogram my subconscious mind. I believe that is where a lot of our brokenness comes from. I know this weight problem is stemmed from wrong thinking. We become what we think. I also believe in the power of the spoken word. We become what we speak. So we always have to be aware of our wrong thinking and letting it manifest into the spoken word. How many times have I put myself into the wrong "box' by thinking and saying I am fat...even to the point where I have medical reasons why I am over weight...insulin and metabolic resistance...My thoughts and words have brought them into existence...or at least has made it difficult to lose the weight.
This is another jewel from God. He is leading me to the core of my issues...I need to stop putting myself into this obsessive wrong thinking pattern I have developed over the years. It has created the box that has trapped me and kept me placed into this body. I need to stop leaning on my own understanding of the issues and to lean on His power to free. I need to stop trying to control this area of my life and once and for all put my total healing in His Mighty Hands. I put my cancer in His Hands because I knew it was out of my control...bigger than myself. So I must ask myself why am I still fighting this battle 26 years later? Obviously it is bigger than myself. What does it take for this girl to learn this lesson? Hopefully today I hand it over to Him forever. I will take this jewel and place it in a special box of it's own...a beautiful ornate box I will treasure...want to be able to open and gaze upon all the jewels He has given me over the years to make me into the women He wants me to be. Then I am outside the box...exactly where I want and need to be.
By the way...I have lost 30 lbs...:)...not really to bad wouldn't you say...plus I feel great..my energy is crazy...My skin looks fabulous...life is good !!!!!
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