Again I amazed at how fast this 92 day Juice feast is going....can't believe I am on day 55 already. I have ups and downs on this journey but have to say right now I am on on a up swing. I had Raechel hide the scale as I felt it was causing a lot of my problems. It freed me from the bondage I was feeling to what the scale said...so now am focusing back on my health journey. I do feel as if I am losing again just due to clothes being looser and the mirror...how much only time will tell. I think I will not weigh myself until the end of the 92 days. Once again trying to break another bad habit I have managed to acquire through the years.
It has been crazy busy the last three weeks and I have also learned I have to allow the time to juice into my schedule. I was not doing that and would end up not eating...lol...drinking...for several hours and of course I would experience the extreme sugar levels dropping to the point of being sick...nausea, headaches and complete exhaustion...that is not good. Plus being totally hungry. I was stalling my metabolism at this point making it go into starvation mode thus halting any weight loss.
I am probably repeating myself here....but because I think it is important and so many women do this to themselves to maintain the beauty the world places on us..I believe it bears repeating. So if I can prevent one woman or help another to understand that maybe it isn't because she is weak and has no will power...that they can take power over their lives and circumstances and try to prevent or change them then maybe my struggles will all be worth it.
It is ironic I think that most the USA thinks overweight people sit and eat all day...not the case. Most overweight people don't eat enough causing the metabolic resistance which is one of my reasons I have a weight problem. When I was in high school having Jody as a best friend was part of the beginning of my distorted image of myself and my size. Jody always weighed under 100 lbs. Boys always gravitated towards her over me. We both had strong personalities but I was just a tad quieter and was okay letting her take the spotlight in our friendship. We really had been inseparable since first grade. She came from a large family with older and younger brothers so now looking back I think she was just more comfortable around boys than me so she could easily get into conversations with them. I took it as they though she was prettier than me...not like I was totally insecure... but being a young women I think we all suffer from some insecurities like that especially at younger ages (middle school and highs school). So the one area I think I latched on to was because she was so tiny. I always felt fat around her. What is so funny is I only weighed 12-15 or so more lbs than her...I always weighed around 110-115...and I was probably 4 inches taller than her....crazy. That started my dieting always trying to get down to 103-107 became my obsession numbers...not sure why???
I kept up this insane behavior until I became pregnant with John Micheal and for the first time in my life wasn't on some form of starvation diet and ate a normal diet. In the process I destroyed my metabolism. So I didn't get fat from over eating I got fat from starving myself to the point when I ate normally my body horded the food for the next starvation and with the continual yo-yo dieting I continued the process getting fatter and fatter...like I said crazy. One of my biggest advise I give young girls is to never go on a diet. If they want to lose weight change what you are eating and exercise. Let me add I have always been a very active person...so for me....movement and exercise...I believe was my saving grace not to get even fatter than I was. 5 years ago I got into a car accident and hurt my back and knee to the point of being in severe pain and it has made it hard to get back and maintain the same level of activity that I was able to sustain. Because of it I gained an additional 50 lbs to the 100 I had already gained from my 4 pregnancies (70 from my first). I have probably gained and lost 100's (and I mean hundreds) of lbs over the last 26 years especially...but really over my entire lifetime. Lose 40...gain 50. Lose 70 gain 80. Lose 20 gain 30. Lose 50 gain 60. That has been my life for the last 26 years. I have either been gaining or losing.
When I am gaining I am not eating a pound of fudge or an entire cake...lol. I eat like most thin people. My husband, friends and children have seen and experienced what I have gone through and know my struggles in this area. I think what I hate the most about the world's perception of overweight people is that we are lazy, stupid and emotional over eaters...full of self pity and self loathing as we stuff our faces. I am none of those things. I am a intelligent happy vibrant person who loves life who just happens to wear her health issues on the outside.
So as I was painting the nursery and going to do makeup at the haunted house...I planned my juicing. I got airtight glass jars, made my 2 quarts of vegetable juice...drank my fruit juice in the morning before I left and packed my quarts in an ice chest and left for my day. Before going to the haunted house would prepare my 4th quart for the day and it has been working perfectly. Keeping my sugar levels even...no hunger and was able to keep energy levels high. I like that the juice feast I chose is 92 days so I can truly change my body and hopefully change the damage I have done to my metabolism. Not to mention all my other issues being corrected...like insulin and leptin resistance.
I no longer compare myself to others and have learned to see my real beauty in who I am. I at times even need to tone down my exuberance and confidence...because I think I can be almost too much sometime...lol. If my thighs are bigger than the woman next to me that's okay...what's not okay is my cancer was a hormone based cancer. Fat stores hormones. I need to remove the fat from my body so I do not get a returning cancer due to an imbalance of hormones. What's not okay is the foods in the SAD diet (Standard American Diet) causes inflammation in my body. Inflammation causes cancer and heart disease along with a multitude of other illnesses. What's not okay is all the enzymes and nutritional benefits are taken out of my food by overcooking and over processing our foods including dairy and all pasteurized foods. These things I can change by taking control of my body and making the right choices for my life and my health and that my friends... is okay !!!
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