Again I amazed at how fast this 92 day Juice feast is going....can't believe I am on day 55 already. I have ups and downs on this journey but have to say right now I am on on a up swing. I had Raechel hide the scale as I felt it was causing a lot of my problems. It freed me from the bondage I was feeling to what the scale said...so now am focusing back on my health journey. I do feel as if I am losing again just due to clothes being looser and the mirror...how much only time will tell. I think I will not weigh myself until the end of the 92 days. Once again trying to break another bad habit I have managed to acquire through the years.
It has been crazy busy the last three weeks and I have also learned I have to allow the time to juice into my schedule. I was not doing that and would end up not eating...lol...drinking...for several hours and of course I would experience the extreme sugar levels dropping to the point of being sick...nausea, headaches and complete exhaustion...that is not good. Plus being totally hungry. I was stalling my metabolism at this point making it go into starvation mode thus halting any weight loss.
I am probably repeating myself here....but because I think it is important and so many women do this to themselves to maintain the beauty the world places on us..I believe it bears repeating. So if I can prevent one woman or help another to understand that maybe it isn't because she is weak and has no will power...that they can take power over their lives and circumstances and try to prevent or change them then maybe my struggles will all be worth it.
It is ironic I think that most the USA thinks overweight people sit and eat all day...not the case. Most overweight people don't eat enough causing the metabolic resistance which is one of my reasons I have a weight problem. When I was in high school having Jody as a best friend was part of the beginning of my distorted image of myself and my size. Jody always weighed under 100 lbs. Boys always gravitated towards her over me. We both had strong personalities but I was just a tad quieter and was okay letting her take the spotlight in our friendship. We really had been inseparable since first grade. She came from a large family with older and younger brothers so now looking back I think she was just more comfortable around boys than me so she could easily get into conversations with them. I took it as they though she was prettier than me...not like I was totally insecure... but being a young women I think we all suffer from some insecurities like that especially at younger ages (middle school and highs school). So the one area I think I latched on to was because she was so tiny. I always felt fat around her. What is so funny is I only weighed 12-15 or so more lbs than her...I always weighed around 110-115...and I was probably 4 inches taller than her....crazy. That started my dieting always trying to get down to 103-107 became my obsession numbers...not sure why???
I kept up this insane behavior until I became pregnant with John Micheal and for the first time in my life wasn't on some form of starvation diet and ate a normal diet. In the process I destroyed my metabolism. So I didn't get fat from over eating I got fat from starving myself to the point when I ate normally my body horded the food for the next starvation and with the continual yo-yo dieting I continued the process getting fatter and fatter...like I said crazy. One of my biggest advise I give young girls is to never go on a diet. If they want to lose weight change what you are eating and exercise. Let me add I have always been a very active person...so for me....movement and exercise...I believe was my saving grace not to get even fatter than I was. 5 years ago I got into a car accident and hurt my back and knee to the point of being in severe pain and it has made it hard to get back and maintain the same level of activity that I was able to sustain. Because of it I gained an additional 50 lbs to the 100 I had already gained from my 4 pregnancies (70 from my first). I have probably gained and lost 100's (and I mean hundreds) of lbs over the last 26 years especially...but really over my entire lifetime. Lose 40...gain 50. Lose 70 gain 80. Lose 20 gain 30. Lose 50 gain 60. That has been my life for the last 26 years. I have either been gaining or losing.
When I am gaining I am not eating a pound of fudge or an entire cake...lol. I eat like most thin people. My husband, friends and children have seen and experienced what I have gone through and know my struggles in this area. I think what I hate the most about the world's perception of overweight people is that we are lazy, stupid and emotional over eaters...full of self pity and self loathing as we stuff our faces. I am none of those things. I am a intelligent happy vibrant person who loves life who just happens to wear her health issues on the outside.
So as I was painting the nursery and going to do makeup at the haunted house...I planned my juicing. I got airtight glass jars, made my 2 quarts of vegetable juice...drank my fruit juice in the morning before I left and packed my quarts in an ice chest and left for my day. Before going to the haunted house would prepare my 4th quart for the day and it has been working perfectly. Keeping my sugar levels even...no hunger and was able to keep energy levels high. I like that the juice feast I chose is 92 days so I can truly change my body and hopefully change the damage I have done to my metabolism. Not to mention all my other issues being corrected...like insulin and leptin resistance.
I no longer compare myself to others and have learned to see my real beauty in who I am. I at times even need to tone down my exuberance and confidence...because I think I can be almost too much sometime...lol. If my thighs are bigger than the woman next to me that's okay...what's not okay is my cancer was a hormone based cancer. Fat stores hormones. I need to remove the fat from my body so I do not get a returning cancer due to an imbalance of hormones. What's not okay is the foods in the SAD diet (Standard American Diet) causes inflammation in my body. Inflammation causes cancer and heart disease along with a multitude of other illnesses. What's not okay is all the enzymes and nutritional benefits are taken out of my food by overcooking and over processing our foods including dairy and all pasteurized foods. These things I can change by taking control of my body and making the right choices for my life and my health and that my friends... is okay !!!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Day???? 48 or 49????
Losing track of the days....Yesterday I took a walk for the first time in a long time...it was wonderful. There was a cool breeze that cooled me down every now an then. When ever I feel the breeze I always like to imagine it is the breath of God. I love to feel His presence in my everyday life and am always looking for the subtle ways He reveals His presence to me.
I call them my jewels...those sparkling, glittering gems He places in my life as a reminder that I am His. Just like diamonds and most gems they are hidden not in plain sight...rocks have to be broken open or earth to be mined to find these precious stones. So I find it to be our game that we play together to uncover the subtly's of life that are to me...from my King.
From about day 30 to now I have been searching for some answers from God. I just have not been getting the reasons why I just stopped losing weight. I have always in my yo-yo dieting of life gotten lengthy plateaus. This is where my head starts to take over and takes me to the obsessive side of my weight loss...getting on the scale several times a day...getting discouraged when I don't see it move. I have done this for 26 years. This is insanity for me...where I cross the line. Usually this is where I always fail in my previous attempts at weight loss.
When I started the journey it was for health reasons...but when the scale stopped my journey switched over to being only about weight loss. One of my supporters just told be that the weight loss was just one of the perks...thanks Jada. I needed to hear that. That was a jewel from God. A subtle reminder from Him why I am on the journey. So I re-geared my thinking to get back on the right track why I am on this journey.
So the last few days I have been addressing this issue but trying to get to the "core" of my wrong thinking. Today I get an email from one of the groups I subscribe to. It was talking about the "boxes" we put ourselves into with out realizing it due to our subconscious thinking. This is another journey I have been on for the last year to try and reprogram my subconscious mind. I believe that is where a lot of our brokenness comes from. I know this weight problem is stemmed from wrong thinking. We become what we think. I also believe in the power of the spoken word. We become what we speak. So we always have to be aware of our wrong thinking and letting it manifest into the spoken word. How many times have I put myself into the wrong "box' by thinking and saying I am fat...even to the point where I have medical reasons why I am over weight...insulin and metabolic resistance...My thoughts and words have brought them into existence...or at least has made it difficult to lose the weight.
This is another jewel from God. He is leading me to the core of my issues...I need to stop putting myself into this obsessive wrong thinking pattern I have developed over the years. It has created the box that has trapped me and kept me placed into this body. I need to stop leaning on my own understanding of the issues and to lean on His power to free. I need to stop trying to control this area of my life and once and for all put my total healing in His Mighty Hands. I put my cancer in His Hands because I knew it was out of my control...bigger than myself. So I must ask myself why am I still fighting this battle 26 years later? Obviously it is bigger than myself. What does it take for this girl to learn this lesson? Hopefully today I hand it over to Him forever. I will take this jewel and place it in a special box of it's own...a beautiful ornate box I will treasure...want to be able to open and gaze upon all the jewels He has given me over the years to make me into the women He wants me to be. Then I am outside the box...exactly where I want and need to be.
By the way...I have lost 30 lbs...:)...not really to bad wouldn't you say...plus I feel great..my energy is crazy...My skin looks fabulous...life is good !!!!!
I call them my jewels...those sparkling, glittering gems He places in my life as a reminder that I am His. Just like diamonds and most gems they are hidden not in plain sight...rocks have to be broken open or earth to be mined to find these precious stones. So I find it to be our game that we play together to uncover the subtly's of life that are to me...from my King.
From about day 30 to now I have been searching for some answers from God. I just have not been getting the reasons why I just stopped losing weight. I have always in my yo-yo dieting of life gotten lengthy plateaus. This is where my head starts to take over and takes me to the obsessive side of my weight loss...getting on the scale several times a day...getting discouraged when I don't see it move. I have done this for 26 years. This is insanity for me...where I cross the line. Usually this is where I always fail in my previous attempts at weight loss.
When I started the journey it was for health reasons...but when the scale stopped my journey switched over to being only about weight loss. One of my supporters just told be that the weight loss was just one of the perks...thanks Jada. I needed to hear that. That was a jewel from God. A subtle reminder from Him why I am on the journey. So I re-geared my thinking to get back on the right track why I am on this journey.
So the last few days I have been addressing this issue but trying to get to the "core" of my wrong thinking. Today I get an email from one of the groups I subscribe to. It was talking about the "boxes" we put ourselves into with out realizing it due to our subconscious thinking. This is another journey I have been on for the last year to try and reprogram my subconscious mind. I believe that is where a lot of our brokenness comes from. I know this weight problem is stemmed from wrong thinking. We become what we think. I also believe in the power of the spoken word. We become what we speak. So we always have to be aware of our wrong thinking and letting it manifest into the spoken word. How many times have I put myself into the wrong "box' by thinking and saying I am fat...even to the point where I have medical reasons why I am over weight...insulin and metabolic resistance...My thoughts and words have brought them into existence...or at least has made it difficult to lose the weight.
This is another jewel from God. He is leading me to the core of my issues...I need to stop putting myself into this obsessive wrong thinking pattern I have developed over the years. It has created the box that has trapped me and kept me placed into this body. I need to stop leaning on my own understanding of the issues and to lean on His power to free. I need to stop trying to control this area of my life and once and for all put my total healing in His Mighty Hands. I put my cancer in His Hands because I knew it was out of my control...bigger than myself. So I must ask myself why am I still fighting this battle 26 years later? Obviously it is bigger than myself. What does it take for this girl to learn this lesson? Hopefully today I hand it over to Him forever. I will take this jewel and place it in a special box of it's own...a beautiful ornate box I will treasure...want to be able to open and gaze upon all the jewels He has given me over the years to make me into the women He wants me to be. Then I am outside the box...exactly where I want and need to be.
By the way...I have lost 30 lbs...:)...not really to bad wouldn't you say...plus I feel great..my energy is crazy...My skin looks fabulous...life is good !!!!!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Day 44
H.A.L.T.
Never become...
On one of these "dieting" occasions I found myself at OA...Overeaters Anonymous....which is where I learned this phrase. At these meeting were several women who had lost over 100 lbs and had kept it off for like 20 years. They still faithfully went weekly to the OA meetings and kept telling their sad tales over and over and over and over. At first I found their stories inspirational and motivating. Needless to say several meetings later I found them to be whiners with no joy in their lives...really. They had no vibrancy in their lives...they seemed sad not victorious. Had they just passed their addiction to food on to the "meetings". So were they really fixed or were they still in their rut of self pity...I don't know. During that time I found myself in a situation where I went off my food plan because I was to tired and didn't plan properly so I ended up to hungry at a social gathering. I actually had a sponsor I had to call everyday and tell them exactly what I was going to eat. You should have seen the look of horror at the next OA meeting when I told them I had slipped...I think one woman even shuddered...another looked as if I had committed a mortal sin. I didn't kill anyone...I was at a social gathering and I ate...yes...I ate 4 cookies. One even went as far to tell me I had sinned against God. Ahhhh...yeah...I never went back...crazy ladies...lol. They were just normal sized cookies...not like I ate 4 super jumbo sized ones.
Reason for this story...yes I slipped off my juice feast. I have been slipping this whole week. The one bit of advise I did take away from the whole OA thing was the H.A.L.T. thing. So this past 10 days or so my life has been crazy busy. Everyday it seems I had something in my day that took me away from my normal routine. I found myself rushing to get here and there from place to place which makes it hard of course to juice. I found myself buying V-8 and process juices to suffice. An entire big bottle of V-8 is only 300 calories. I was going 8 hours or more with nothing but V-8 juice. I found myself to hungry and to tired. So when the temptation of half of a delicious looking turkey sandwich was offered to me I ate it...to hungry. Last night same thing after painting and some other errands...got home... exhausted from the entire last 10 days and starving since once again all I had consumed for several hours was my 300 calorie V8 Juice...the kids asked me if I would cook dinner. I did..one of their favorites and mine a baked Ziti dish I do with 3 cheeses and sweet Italian sausages. It is one of those dishes I have to taste to make sure all the right blend of seasonings is just right. Seemed like once I took a bite I couldn't stop...I kept going back for more bites. So once again...to hungry and to tired...
But on this occasion I have to add the other two...to angry and to lonely.
I am not sure if any of you have ever noticed but I don't talk about my husband that much. It is because I don't want to by like the whiny women at OA. First let me start off by saying I love my husband. He is very handsome...even to this day women will flirt with him right in front of me. It is always kind of funny because he really doesn't handle it very well he get flustered and very awkward. I always wonder what am I chopped liver...I am right here....some women??? They are always very attractive women with great bodies. What's with that...lol? My husband is a hard worker...an electrician...so he stays physically fit from his job. He works outside so he is very tan. He is tall...6'2" and thin. He has the best smile...with that whole bad boy kind of charm that women love. My business partner Jessica says John looks like a "Lifetime Movie-star" I think that is funny. He has aged well at 54 he has hardly any grey still has all his hair and is just now starting to get wrinkles....the kind that crinkles around his eyes when he smiles that bad boy smile. My husband is very funny and has a good sense of humor. Most of all my husband adores and loves me. When I was sick last year...he never left my side and took over the house, grocery shopping, the cooking and taking Joel too and from school and practice. He took me to every doctors appointment and to and from the hospital. It makes me tear up just writing about how awesome he was. He was absolutely amazing. Whats the problem you say...?
He is an alcoholic and depending if he is having a good week or a bad week sometimes dictates if I am having a good week or a bad week. Is he just drinking beer or has he switched to hard alcohol? He can get mean and crazy when he drinks hard alcohol. He is what they call a functioning alcoholic. He goes to work everyday. He earns his paycheck. He provides for his family. He works in the trades so he is old school in the belief..work hard...play hard.
If any of you have ever been around or lived with an alcoholic you know it is hardest on those who love and live with them. We live in the dysfunction of their disease. I tried Al-anon (is that how you spell it?)...again...seems like OA...a whole lot of whining going on...just didn't work for me. I choose to be happy and not wallow in self-pity. Not that all in those groups do but there are some and those seem to be the loudest and speak the most. It just "is what it is". The hardest part for me is the inability to change the situation. Most of the time I just go about my life and I try to not let it bother me. I am human and sometimes I fail. I am home alone often. Now the kids are older and have lives of their own I am not needed as much...I do find myself "at times" feeling lonely. Now let me say...I do love my alone time...so don't feel sorry for me. I think I would hate it if I didn't have that time for me. I have many things I use to fill my time with....things I love to do.
Last night I failed and I failed miserably. I was tired and just needed to collapse and let John take over....I needed him to be home to help with dinner. I knew I was weak and shouldn't be in the kitchen...so I got angry and I guess the loneliness of my situation kicked in. I can't ever depend on him to be there. He comes and goes as his disease leads him. He goes to the bars with his buddies...all alcoholics. I could go with him but no thank you. Nothing more boring than a bunch of electricians sitting around drinking. Anyways my bar drinking days are over and have been since I had children...Thank God...lol. I have for the most part in 26 years of marriage spent a lot of nights alone. Taking care of the kids and our home so they would have a chance at a normal life has always been my main focus. I gave up my career in advertising so I could be a stay at home mom (best job I have ever had). I have never regretted that for one moment. My job as the art director for one of the nations largest advertising firms sometimes required a 70 hours work week. I had deadlines to meet...meeting to attend...sending printing out to printers all over the country. I knew if I continued in my career my children would lose out on the only chance they had to not grow up dysfunctional themselves. I needed to be there at all times... to pick them up from school...bake cookies....help them with home work... get them to soccer practice....dinner on the table at 6:00...that sort of thing. I needed to be that stable base in their lives because I knew John never would or could be.
When I met John we both were the life of the party. We were a striking couple...on the outside it Iooked as if we had the world in our hands. I think we believed we did. 7 months into our marriage I became pregnant with John Micheal and I changed. I stopped the partying...John never did. In fact he got worse and that is when he got lost to crystal meth for 14 years...that really was the hardest time in my life and it happened very quickly. We had always played around with cocaine both of us and it was part of our world. It was very much a part of 80's and everywhere. Even the CEO of my company used to have cocaine lunches every day. I guess I was considered a recreational drug user. I never really realized John's issues were much so much deeper. I was in over my head and had no idea what I was in for...a whole different story...one I probably won't tell.
I don't believe in divorce because of my strong faith in God and I believe the Bible is the Divine Word of God. God hates divorce and for me...marriage is a covenant promise I made before God...unbreakable. When I spoke the words...for better or for worse in sickness and in health I meant it. For me there are no options. I also believe we live in a throw away society. When the going gets rough...walk away or throw it away. I can't do that. John is sick...he has a disease. It doesn't make him less of a person...less worthy of love. It just makes it harder for me at times to love him. I hate the term unconditional love. Love does have conditions and or boundaries and I have established those with him and in our lives so I can remain sane in the insanity of his disease. So enough said...no more whining...life is still very good. God has given me the capacity to enjoy my life and to see the beauty in my marriage.
The whole spiritual side of the journey being on the 92 Day Juice Feast has taken me down paths I have needed to revisit...some joyous....some painful or more difficult like today's. The journey has taken back to these places...for insight so I can see where I still need some work...then not only physical healing can take place but a spiritual healing also. God is so good.
I see now that I can't allow myself to not follow the H.A.L.T. rules. I need to slow down keep my focus on the healing. I need to allow the time into my day to juice properly and to get the nutrients and calories needed to sustain this journey. I can not and will not allow myself to fail and to fall back into old habits. More importantly when I start falling into bad habits or old reactions like the last few days...I need to re-address issues...face them head on and try to figure them out I can keep them in the past and keep them from repeating themselves.
Never become...
- To Hungry
- To Angry
- To Lonely
- To Tired
On one of these "dieting" occasions I found myself at OA...Overeaters Anonymous....which is where I learned this phrase. At these meeting were several women who had lost over 100 lbs and had kept it off for like 20 years. They still faithfully went weekly to the OA meetings and kept telling their sad tales over and over and over and over. At first I found their stories inspirational and motivating. Needless to say several meetings later I found them to be whiners with no joy in their lives...really. They had no vibrancy in their lives...they seemed sad not victorious. Had they just passed their addiction to food on to the "meetings". So were they really fixed or were they still in their rut of self pity...I don't know. During that time I found myself in a situation where I went off my food plan because I was to tired and didn't plan properly so I ended up to hungry at a social gathering. I actually had a sponsor I had to call everyday and tell them exactly what I was going to eat. You should have seen the look of horror at the next OA meeting when I told them I had slipped...I think one woman even shuddered...another looked as if I had committed a mortal sin. I didn't kill anyone...I was at a social gathering and I ate...yes...I ate 4 cookies. One even went as far to tell me I had sinned against God. Ahhhh...yeah...I never went back...crazy ladies...lol. They were just normal sized cookies...not like I ate 4 super jumbo sized ones.
Reason for this story...yes I slipped off my juice feast. I have been slipping this whole week. The one bit of advise I did take away from the whole OA thing was the H.A.L.T. thing. So this past 10 days or so my life has been crazy busy. Everyday it seems I had something in my day that took me away from my normal routine. I found myself rushing to get here and there from place to place which makes it hard of course to juice. I found myself buying V-8 and process juices to suffice. An entire big bottle of V-8 is only 300 calories. I was going 8 hours or more with nothing but V-8 juice. I found myself to hungry and to tired. So when the temptation of half of a delicious looking turkey sandwich was offered to me I ate it...to hungry. Last night same thing after painting and some other errands...got home... exhausted from the entire last 10 days and starving since once again all I had consumed for several hours was my 300 calorie V8 Juice...the kids asked me if I would cook dinner. I did..one of their favorites and mine a baked Ziti dish I do with 3 cheeses and sweet Italian sausages. It is one of those dishes I have to taste to make sure all the right blend of seasonings is just right. Seemed like once I took a bite I couldn't stop...I kept going back for more bites. So once again...to hungry and to tired...
But on this occasion I have to add the other two...to angry and to lonely.
I am not sure if any of you have ever noticed but I don't talk about my husband that much. It is because I don't want to by like the whiny women at OA. First let me start off by saying I love my husband. He is very handsome...even to this day women will flirt with him right in front of me. It is always kind of funny because he really doesn't handle it very well he get flustered and very awkward. I always wonder what am I chopped liver...I am right here....some women??? They are always very attractive women with great bodies. What's with that...lol? My husband is a hard worker...an electrician...so he stays physically fit from his job. He works outside so he is very tan. He is tall...6'2" and thin. He has the best smile...with that whole bad boy kind of charm that women love. My business partner Jessica says John looks like a "Lifetime Movie-star" I think that is funny. He has aged well at 54 he has hardly any grey still has all his hair and is just now starting to get wrinkles....the kind that crinkles around his eyes when he smiles that bad boy smile. My husband is very funny and has a good sense of humor. Most of all my husband adores and loves me. When I was sick last year...he never left my side and took over the house, grocery shopping, the cooking and taking Joel too and from school and practice. He took me to every doctors appointment and to and from the hospital. It makes me tear up just writing about how awesome he was. He was absolutely amazing. Whats the problem you say...?
He is an alcoholic and depending if he is having a good week or a bad week sometimes dictates if I am having a good week or a bad week. Is he just drinking beer or has he switched to hard alcohol? He can get mean and crazy when he drinks hard alcohol. He is what they call a functioning alcoholic. He goes to work everyday. He earns his paycheck. He provides for his family. He works in the trades so he is old school in the belief..work hard...play hard.
If any of you have ever been around or lived with an alcoholic you know it is hardest on those who love and live with them. We live in the dysfunction of their disease. I tried Al-anon (is that how you spell it?)...again...seems like OA...a whole lot of whining going on...just didn't work for me. I choose to be happy and not wallow in self-pity. Not that all in those groups do but there are some and those seem to be the loudest and speak the most. It just "is what it is". The hardest part for me is the inability to change the situation. Most of the time I just go about my life and I try to not let it bother me. I am human and sometimes I fail. I am home alone often. Now the kids are older and have lives of their own I am not needed as much...I do find myself "at times" feeling lonely. Now let me say...I do love my alone time...so don't feel sorry for me. I think I would hate it if I didn't have that time for me. I have many things I use to fill my time with....things I love to do.
Last night I failed and I failed miserably. I was tired and just needed to collapse and let John take over....I needed him to be home to help with dinner. I knew I was weak and shouldn't be in the kitchen...so I got angry and I guess the loneliness of my situation kicked in. I can't ever depend on him to be there. He comes and goes as his disease leads him. He goes to the bars with his buddies...all alcoholics. I could go with him but no thank you. Nothing more boring than a bunch of electricians sitting around drinking. Anyways my bar drinking days are over and have been since I had children...Thank God...lol. I have for the most part in 26 years of marriage spent a lot of nights alone. Taking care of the kids and our home so they would have a chance at a normal life has always been my main focus. I gave up my career in advertising so I could be a stay at home mom (best job I have ever had). I have never regretted that for one moment. My job as the art director for one of the nations largest advertising firms sometimes required a 70 hours work week. I had deadlines to meet...meeting to attend...sending printing out to printers all over the country. I knew if I continued in my career my children would lose out on the only chance they had to not grow up dysfunctional themselves. I needed to be there at all times... to pick them up from school...bake cookies....help them with home work... get them to soccer practice....dinner on the table at 6:00...that sort of thing. I needed to be that stable base in their lives because I knew John never would or could be.
When I met John we both were the life of the party. We were a striking couple...on the outside it Iooked as if we had the world in our hands. I think we believed we did. 7 months into our marriage I became pregnant with John Micheal and I changed. I stopped the partying...John never did. In fact he got worse and that is when he got lost to crystal meth for 14 years...that really was the hardest time in my life and it happened very quickly. We had always played around with cocaine both of us and it was part of our world. It was very much a part of 80's and everywhere. Even the CEO of my company used to have cocaine lunches every day. I guess I was considered a recreational drug user. I never really realized John's issues were much so much deeper. I was in over my head and had no idea what I was in for...a whole different story...one I probably won't tell.
I don't believe in divorce because of my strong faith in God and I believe the Bible is the Divine Word of God. God hates divorce and for me...marriage is a covenant promise I made before God...unbreakable. When I spoke the words...for better or for worse in sickness and in health I meant it. For me there are no options. I also believe we live in a throw away society. When the going gets rough...walk away or throw it away. I can't do that. John is sick...he has a disease. It doesn't make him less of a person...less worthy of love. It just makes it harder for me at times to love him. I hate the term unconditional love. Love does have conditions and or boundaries and I have established those with him and in our lives so I can remain sane in the insanity of his disease. So enough said...no more whining...life is still very good. God has given me the capacity to enjoy my life and to see the beauty in my marriage.
The whole spiritual side of the journey being on the 92 Day Juice Feast has taken me down paths I have needed to revisit...some joyous....some painful or more difficult like today's. The journey has taken back to these places...for insight so I can see where I still need some work...then not only physical healing can take place but a spiritual healing also. God is so good.
I see now that I can't allow myself to not follow the H.A.L.T. rules. I need to slow down keep my focus on the healing. I need to allow the time into my day to juice properly and to get the nutrients and calories needed to sustain this journey. I can not and will not allow myself to fail and to fall back into old habits. More importantly when I start falling into bad habits or old reactions like the last few days...I need to re-address issues...face them head on and try to figure them out I can keep them in the past and keep them from repeating themselves.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Day 36
Hello everyone out there in foodland...day 36 of me here in juiceland. I feel that way right now...there is everyone else and then there is me. I am out here all alone stranded on my island. Not in a...poor me and I want to be in your land and off my island kinda way....I just would enjoy the company of someone else experiencing the same thing I am so we could discuss our similarities or differences in our experience.
I did go searching for a helping hand and I found one...on fb. I found a page called...Living and Raw Food Village. I asked her a few questions and she gave me some great advice. My extreme cravings for cooked food were because I wasn't getting something my body needed. She suggested that I mix up at least 5 greens to make sure all my nutritional green needs were being met and it seemed to have worked...cravings gone...whew...that was tough. She also suggested I try ABC Juice with lemon. I did and I absolutely love it...new fav.
ABC Juice
1 small beetroot (beet)
I also have developed a liking for the greens...I no longer feel as if I am drinking "grass"...I am starting to enjoy the different flavors. I feel great...my moods are in good spirits. Life on my island is very good....and 28 pound lighter...
So as I am a castaway on my little island of juiceland...I will think of Tom Hanks and remember how thin he got...maybe add a little more coconut juice to my diet and be grateful that I don't have to pull out my own tooth with an ice skate.
I did go searching for a helping hand and I found one...on fb. I found a page called...Living and Raw Food Village. I asked her a few questions and she gave me some great advice. My extreme cravings for cooked food were because I wasn't getting something my body needed. She suggested that I mix up at least 5 greens to make sure all my nutritional green needs were being met and it seemed to have worked...cravings gone...whew...that was tough. She also suggested I try ABC Juice with lemon. I did and I absolutely love it...new fav.
ABC Juice
1 small beetroot (beet)
2 medium Carrots
I large apple
I large apple
Add 1 lemon if you want... Put through Juicer...not blender and that's it...as easy as ABC !!! Drink immediately and enjoy.
Beet Juice benefits...
- Lowers the blood pressure.
- Relaxes the mind (due to the substance betaine) and is used to treat depression. It also contains tryptophan which contributes to a sense of well being.
- Contains aphrodisiac properties according to the Romans. The juice is a rich source of boron which plays an important role in the production of sex hormones. I am not using it for this reason...lol.
- Beet juice is best known as a blood purifier and blood builder that helps in the creation of red blood.
- Dr. Ferenczi of Hungary had his cancer patients drink a quart of beet juice each day, which was effectively breaking down and eliminating tumors. Beets have been found to increase the body`s production of glutathione, which helps the body detoxify cancer-causing poisons...my favorite reason...yay !!!!
I also have developed a liking for the greens...I no longer feel as if I am drinking "grass"...I am starting to enjoy the different flavors. I feel great...my moods are in good spirits. Life on my island is very good....and 28 pound lighter...
So as I am a castaway on my little island of juiceland...I will think of Tom Hanks and remember how thin he got...maybe add a little more coconut juice to my diet and be grateful that I don't have to pull out my own tooth with an ice skate.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Day 32
Whoo Hoo !!!! 32 days finally....made it past a month. I do feel a new resolve. I have to say the last 9-10 days have been a struggle. I have been doing some soul searching to figure out why. I think I have a few answers but without any forum to discuss this with anyone else I just have come up with a few ideas...some reflection... of my own.
Proverbs 27 talks about the honing of the sword. A blacksmith when making a sword sits in front of the the fire with the sword placed in the flames and he hammers the silver in the flames until it is perfect. The blacksmith knows the sword is perfected when he can see his reflection in the the silver. That is the honing of a sword. I heard it taught once...that is what God does with us...as we endure hardships and storms. He lets us go into the fire and when He can see his reflection in us is when we are finally removed from the flames. I always find it such a beautiful way to look at hardships and trials...that is when He is perfecting me. So maybe these struggles are so....that for once and for all...I can be free from the bondage's and toll that the weight and all that comes with it has placed on my physical body.
For the first 14 years after gaining the weight...I hated to look at myself in a mirror. All I could see was the fat and all my imperfections. I blamed myself for what had happened to my body and not being strong enough to defeat this battle. One day discouraged I looked in the mirror trying to find my beauty and couldn't find any....even though my common sense told me differently...all I believed was the reflection in the mirror that my eyes and heart saw. I asked God if I could please see myself through His eyes and not my own. It wasn't over night and I am not sure how long it took but I slowly started to see myself differently. I started to see my beauty and the gifts I had to offer the world. I now love my reflection....God's reflection of His creation.
Now reflecting on the past month...I have to give myself credit...I have made it 32 days and I have lost 25 lbs...I always feel this need to keep placing pressure on myself to do better and when I am not meeting my expectations I start getting frustrated....Hey maybe that's the lesson...to chill, relax and enjoy the ride and every now and then take a look in the rear view mirror...enjoy my reflection and the dust I am leaving behind .
- All battles are first fought in the mind. Maybe God is making me go through the fire and the storm to finally be free from the pull of the food.
- The new has worn off from doing the feast and now it is facing the hard dusty road ahead.
- That my body is breaking and hammering out it's addiction to the process of eating and of food in general.There are over 10,00 additives approved by the FDA to be placed in our foods and labeled "Natural Flavor, Spices and or Ingredients" many that are addictive substances. There is additives like monosodium glutamate, sugar, modified corn starch...the list goes on....all addictive so maybe my body is breaking those addictions also.
Proverbs 27 talks about the honing of the sword. A blacksmith when making a sword sits in front of the the fire with the sword placed in the flames and he hammers the silver in the flames until it is perfect. The blacksmith knows the sword is perfected when he can see his reflection in the the silver. That is the honing of a sword. I heard it taught once...that is what God does with us...as we endure hardships and storms. He lets us go into the fire and when He can see his reflection in us is when we are finally removed from the flames. I always find it such a beautiful way to look at hardships and trials...that is when He is perfecting me. So maybe these struggles are so....that for once and for all...I can be free from the bondage's and toll that the weight and all that comes with it has placed on my physical body.
For the first 14 years after gaining the weight...I hated to look at myself in a mirror. All I could see was the fat and all my imperfections. I blamed myself for what had happened to my body and not being strong enough to defeat this battle. One day discouraged I looked in the mirror trying to find my beauty and couldn't find any....even though my common sense told me differently...all I believed was the reflection in the mirror that my eyes and heart saw. I asked God if I could please see myself through His eyes and not my own. It wasn't over night and I am not sure how long it took but I slowly started to see myself differently. I started to see my beauty and the gifts I had to offer the world. I now love my reflection....God's reflection of His creation.
Now reflecting on the past month...I have to give myself credit...I have made it 32 days and I have lost 25 lbs...I always feel this need to keep placing pressure on myself to do better and when I am not meeting my expectations I start getting frustrated....Hey maybe that's the lesson...to chill, relax and enjoy the ride and every now and then take a look in the rear view mirror...enjoy my reflection and the dust I am leaving behind .
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Day 27
Good Morning. Woke up at 4:00 am feeling bright and alert. Call me crazy.... but I get up every morning with my husband and get him off to work. I make him coffee and then get his lunch ready for the day. Started doing it as a newly wed 26 years ago and have never stopped except when I was sick and he wouldn't let me. He has his moments...lol. I actually have learned to absolutely love the early mornings and have found that peace and solitude my spirit craves before I have to start getting kids up and off to school. That I have been doing for 21 years and still have 3 more years of that to go with Joel.
My children are 10 years apart from the oldest to the youngest. Raechel (now 21) was born 4 years after John Micheal (now 25) and my baby Joel (now 15) was born 6 years later. I did lose baby James in my 7th month of pregnancy who would be 17 now if he lived. Wow....when I see all those numbers it makes me realize how fast time flies. Seems like it was just yesterday that they were babies.
It is funny when I was younger (in my early 20's) I had made up my mind to never get married and have kids...lol. Sounds so funny now. I was determined to be a famous fashion designer and I knew (or thought I did) that to do that the whole "family" thing would stop me from doing what I wanted to do. Which was true to an extent. Once I met my husband all of a sudden getting married and "settling down" didn't seem so bad. I thank God everyday for the gifts I was blessed with. Life is so much richer than I ever imagined because of my 3 children that were placed in my life and forever in my heart.
The idea of not being to live out my life to the fullness of my years I think is one of the biggest fears in my life. Not because I am afraid to die but because it would shorten my days with them. I want to see them grow in their lives and the realization of who they are. See their dreams being fulfilled and being there to support then through their life's storms, trials and tribulations. To see their smiles of joy when they succeed. To watch them walk down the isle and gaze at wonderment as they see their babies for the first time. One of my life's realizations is that...that is what makes life wonderful and rich. Not to be rich and famous but to enjoy the everyday that life brings.
Everyday means so much more to me now. It always did though. I am one of those idealistic persons who sees life through rose colored glasses. I choose to see the beauty in the world and not to focus on the ugly. Ugly hits you in the face enough in life so when it hits I deal with it but then as soon as possible turn back to beauty. Maybe that is why I love making people feel pretty and I love to paint pictures of pretty things. One of my gifts is exhortation. I love lifting people up to see the beauty in them and all the possibilities life can bring to them. I think at times I can be very annoying to people who want to stay in victim mode and wallow in self pity...lol. I have had to learn and I learned the hard way that people can be very stubborn and want to stay in those dark places. There at times I have had to remove such people from my life. People like that will try to suck all the energy from you and turn around and blame you for their choices. I don't have time for people who will not see the possibilities.
Having cancer I thought was going to be just a scary terrible place to be and it was not going to deny that....It is hard having to face the possibility that life could be heading towards it's finale. Oddly enough there was something actually beautiful in the entire journey. I know that sounds weird but it was not as scary as I thought and during it I was faced to look at my life. It made me re-evaluate a lot of my life's choices and non choices. My non choices were letting some of my dreams wither away and living totally for everyone else around me and sacrificing me in the process. I now have my bucket list and am finding ways to still be a great wife and mom but to fulfill my dreams. The dreams that fulfill my spirit.
I have always had a close relationship with God. I have always felt Him close by my side. Even as a child I knew He was there. Alive and very real in my life. I left Him for a while during my youth...always believing but just a little to busy to be bothered. He is such a gentleman...He knew I would return and he patiently waited for my return. He has been by my side through every storm. When I heard my mom had lung cancer I felt like I couldn't breath. He helped me to breath. While driving one day I started sobbing hysterically after visiting her. I couldn't even drive...I had to pull to the side of the road. I was calling out to Him...crying out "NOT this God...NOT this...How can you expect me to go through this?" Through my hysteria...I heard this strong gentle voice say to me "Yes you can because I am with you." I knew at that moment she was not going to make it but I felt this peace overcome me a peace that only He could give me. At that time He was not only was beside me...He carried me. He carried me when I lost my dad...when I lost baby James....through a 14 year drug addiction with my husband...during the deaths of my grandparents...and he carried me through my cancer. I can not even imagine experiencing those times with out him by my side to keep reminding me to just breathe.
So as I enter day 27 of Juice Feasting....still plateauing...feeling a bit frustrated and the strong desire to eat I guess I have the strength to continue...cause really in the whole scheme of things life is still pretty darn wonderful cause I still am breathing.
My children are 10 years apart from the oldest to the youngest. Raechel (now 21) was born 4 years after John Micheal (now 25) and my baby Joel (now 15) was born 6 years later. I did lose baby James in my 7th month of pregnancy who would be 17 now if he lived. Wow....when I see all those numbers it makes me realize how fast time flies. Seems like it was just yesterday that they were babies.
It is funny when I was younger (in my early 20's) I had made up my mind to never get married and have kids...lol. Sounds so funny now. I was determined to be a famous fashion designer and I knew (or thought I did) that to do that the whole "family" thing would stop me from doing what I wanted to do. Which was true to an extent. Once I met my husband all of a sudden getting married and "settling down" didn't seem so bad. I thank God everyday for the gifts I was blessed with. Life is so much richer than I ever imagined because of my 3 children that were placed in my life and forever in my heart.
The idea of not being to live out my life to the fullness of my years I think is one of the biggest fears in my life. Not because I am afraid to die but because it would shorten my days with them. I want to see them grow in their lives and the realization of who they are. See their dreams being fulfilled and being there to support then through their life's storms, trials and tribulations. To see their smiles of joy when they succeed. To watch them walk down the isle and gaze at wonderment as they see their babies for the first time. One of my life's realizations is that...that is what makes life wonderful and rich. Not to be rich and famous but to enjoy the everyday that life brings.
Everyday means so much more to me now. It always did though. I am one of those idealistic persons who sees life through rose colored glasses. I choose to see the beauty in the world and not to focus on the ugly. Ugly hits you in the face enough in life so when it hits I deal with it but then as soon as possible turn back to beauty. Maybe that is why I love making people feel pretty and I love to paint pictures of pretty things. One of my gifts is exhortation. I love lifting people up to see the beauty in them and all the possibilities life can bring to them. I think at times I can be very annoying to people who want to stay in victim mode and wallow in self pity...lol. I have had to learn and I learned the hard way that people can be very stubborn and want to stay in those dark places. There at times I have had to remove such people from my life. People like that will try to suck all the energy from you and turn around and blame you for their choices. I don't have time for people who will not see the possibilities.
Having cancer I thought was going to be just a scary terrible place to be and it was not going to deny that....It is hard having to face the possibility that life could be heading towards it's finale. Oddly enough there was something actually beautiful in the entire journey. I know that sounds weird but it was not as scary as I thought and during it I was faced to look at my life. It made me re-evaluate a lot of my life's choices and non choices. My non choices were letting some of my dreams wither away and living totally for everyone else around me and sacrificing me in the process. I now have my bucket list and am finding ways to still be a great wife and mom but to fulfill my dreams. The dreams that fulfill my spirit.
I have always had a close relationship with God. I have always felt Him close by my side. Even as a child I knew He was there. Alive and very real in my life. I left Him for a while during my youth...always believing but just a little to busy to be bothered. He is such a gentleman...He knew I would return and he patiently waited for my return. He has been by my side through every storm. When I heard my mom had lung cancer I felt like I couldn't breath. He helped me to breath. While driving one day I started sobbing hysterically after visiting her. I couldn't even drive...I had to pull to the side of the road. I was calling out to Him...crying out "NOT this God...NOT this...How can you expect me to go through this?" Through my hysteria...I heard this strong gentle voice say to me "Yes you can because I am with you." I knew at that moment she was not going to make it but I felt this peace overcome me a peace that only He could give me. At that time He was not only was beside me...He carried me. He carried me when I lost my dad...when I lost baby James....through a 14 year drug addiction with my husband...during the deaths of my grandparents...and he carried me through my cancer. I can not even imagine experiencing those times with out him by my side to keep reminding me to just breathe.
So as I enter day 27 of Juice Feasting....still plateauing...feeling a bit frustrated and the strong desire to eat I guess I have the strength to continue...cause really in the whole scheme of things life is still pretty darn wonderful cause I still am breathing.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Day 24
I was not surprised...yesterday the whole day I wanted to eat. I know why...it was my own fault for not planning sufficiently. I had a long day filming for the sci-fi "Orn". I didn't have time to juice in the morning due to we had been filming until late in the evening the day before...so I only had a few hours of sleep before I had to get up and be on set yesterday. I did grab some spicy V-8 to drink for the day which wasn't enough because filming ran longer than anticipated. I managed to drink some cranberry juice between location changes...but I just didn't get any fresh juice in me until I got home. So all in all I didn't get enough calories for the day. Results...hunger.
I made it through yesterday but it was really tough. I went to bed early last night and hopefully a good nights rest and proper juicing today will be easier. Second frustration...I am not losing weight. I am already at a plateau. I was hoping I wouldn't experience this with this program but I am. My body does this to me every time. Usually around a 17 lb weight lose I just stop losing. At least I made it to 22 lbs. So I need to up my exercise to get past this.
Problem is leaving the second location yesterday I was coming down the stairs carrying all my gear (I have quite a bit and it is heavy) and my bad knee did its buckle thing. I did manage not to fall down the stairs but my knee is extremely sore and I need a few days to let it heal so no walking, rebounding or bike riding for me. I think I will try swimming some laps and see if that hurts. I am lucky to have a pool in my backyard but because of having cancer I am now afraid of chlorine...well it and all chemicals. So which is the lesser of the evils...no exercises and keep plateauing or getting in the pool knowing my skin is absorbing the chlorine???? Choices???
It is times like this in the past when I would fall off track just due to frustration of trying and trying and always hitting walls to keep me from succeeding but this time no matter how hard the hurdle I will not be waived. Maybe this is the universe trying to see how serious I am...in the Christian world we call it spiritual warfare so this is when I need to turn to my powerful and mighty God and ask Him to step in and give me the strength, wisdom and knowledge to keep moving forward. I figure I must be doing something right because I am getting resistance.
I guess I was hoping for everyday to be as easy as it has but that's just not practical when attempting such a radical change in my life. I am still "over the moon" about the results and will not be moved from my path.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Day 20...Yay !!!
20 days seems like a milestone...doesn't it ? Only 10 more to go and I will have made it through my first month. Now 92 days doesn't seem such a forbidding task especially now that I have gotten the hang of this whole juice feast.
Yesterday was a football scrimmage for Joel at another high school (He did great). It was a pretty long walk to the football from from the parking lot... I felt a little more power in my step and stride...I was thinking "very cool"...but the really cool part is when I got to the stairs...going down stairs with my bad knee it is slow going for me. If I am feeling really stiff I actually would have to go down one step at a time. I was about halfway down and I realized I was going down just like everyone else with no pain or stiffness in my knees. That was awesome because I always was a little embarrassed going down stairs. I sometimes would wait til no one was behind me so I wouldn't slow them up...cause ya know everyone is always in a hurry in this world.
That got me to thinking about my other aches and pains. At night, at times, the pain in my back is quite bad. I have severe scoliosis and my 3 troublesome spots are the lower back, around my 10th vertebrae and the top of my neck and they cause me quite a bit of aggravation. Plus I get pretty bad pain in my hips. I refuse to take pain pills so going to sleep at night is sometimes difficult. Besides the scoliosis my spine twists which makes the rest of my skeletal structure off balance. I have had chiropractors tell my my spine is pretty bad...one said the worst he had seen in Arizona...he had relocated from New York. I am not complaining just one of those things I have to deal with but another reason I so need to get the weight off. I do not want to be immobilized when I am older...
I went to bed last night and realized there was no discomfort...I didn't have to spend 20 minutes arranging my self to find a position where I wasn't hurting. Due to this it sometimes took forever to fall asleep. I think for the last week or so ...I just lay down and in minutes I am fast asleep and sleep like a baby. I have not woken up once due to pain during the night. It has just been such a subtle change that I didn't even notice. I did read in all my juicing research that it reduces nitric oxide, free radicals and inflammation that cause joint and back pain. Ginger Root and Vitamin C are best plus I am taking Hemp Oil for my Omega 3's...that also helps with arthritic pain.
So I have seen great improvement in:
So all in all already some pretty great results and I still am only in the detoxing stage...the first 45 days...then the second 45 days are the healing... rebuilding, re-balancing and rebooting stage...so that's gotta be awesome...
I love ya all...take care and here's to a healthier world...
Yesterday was a football scrimmage for Joel at another high school (He did great). It was a pretty long walk to the football from from the parking lot... I felt a little more power in my step and stride...I was thinking "very cool"...but the really cool part is when I got to the stairs...going down stairs with my bad knee it is slow going for me. If I am feeling really stiff I actually would have to go down one step at a time. I was about halfway down and I realized I was going down just like everyone else with no pain or stiffness in my knees. That was awesome because I always was a little embarrassed going down stairs. I sometimes would wait til no one was behind me so I wouldn't slow them up...cause ya know everyone is always in a hurry in this world.
That got me to thinking about my other aches and pains. At night, at times, the pain in my back is quite bad. I have severe scoliosis and my 3 troublesome spots are the lower back, around my 10th vertebrae and the top of my neck and they cause me quite a bit of aggravation. Plus I get pretty bad pain in my hips. I refuse to take pain pills so going to sleep at night is sometimes difficult. Besides the scoliosis my spine twists which makes the rest of my skeletal structure off balance. I have had chiropractors tell my my spine is pretty bad...one said the worst he had seen in Arizona...he had relocated from New York. I am not complaining just one of those things I have to deal with but another reason I so need to get the weight off. I do not want to be immobilized when I am older...
I went to bed last night and realized there was no discomfort...I didn't have to spend 20 minutes arranging my self to find a position where I wasn't hurting. Due to this it sometimes took forever to fall asleep. I think for the last week or so ...I just lay down and in minutes I am fast asleep and sleep like a baby. I have not woken up once due to pain during the night. It has just been such a subtle change that I didn't even notice. I did read in all my juicing research that it reduces nitric oxide, free radicals and inflammation that cause joint and back pain. Ginger Root and Vitamin C are best plus I am taking Hemp Oil for my Omega 3's...that also helps with arthritic pain.
So I have seen great improvement in:
- Eyesight
- Insomnia
- Sleep Patterns
- Reduced or no Pain in Joints or Back
- Weight Loss (21 lbs to date)
- Reduced Body Stiffness (usually by night I am walking like an old lady...lol)
- Renewed Energy
- Reduced Mood Swings
- Reduced Headaches
- Reduced Sinus Congestion
So all in all already some pretty great results and I still am only in the detoxing stage...the first 45 days...then the second 45 days are the healing... rebuilding, re-balancing and rebooting stage...so that's gotta be awesome...
I love ya all...take care and here's to a healthier world...
Monday, August 15, 2011
Day 17
Day 17 here and going great. I have been extremely busy with the movie ORN. For those of you Orn is a creature feature about a ravenous alien that crashes into the Arizona desert. This is our second go round with the film. We only had 5 scenes left to film when one of the actors decided to walk out on the film over a dispute about "money". Which is funny because we are all working on points and we don't get paid until the film sells. The director is being very generous with his point system and worth the risk. Either way it is a win win situation because I get to do special effects makeup ( blood and guts ) so I get the experience plus the IMDb credits in FX and makeup. The director also has two other films and I will be able to work on those also. When the one actor brought in his agent to negotiate (contracts already signed) 4 of the other actors had to leave over the dispute also because of their contracts with the agent. Long story...lol. Whew what a mess. So the 5 roles were re-cast and we have begun again. The new cast has brought new energy and and we are all excited to finish this project.
The juice feasting has really been going well. I have lost 19 lbs and my energy is greatly improved. I have noticed a change that I didn't expect and am really happy about. It seems my vision is improving...I see clearer and more details. But the best is my night blindness...it is almost gone...crazy. I love it. I really hated to drive at night because of the blinding lights so this is good.
Nights are still my enemy. I guess my body was used to me snacking at night. I have never been a binger. I am a grazer. Just a bite here and a bite there...but it was always at night mainly. Plus cooking dinner has always been a big thing for me and I miss that event. I have cooked twice when I felt strong enough to do so but my family knows for the next few months they basically are on there own. They will survive but I have heard a few moans now and then about HOW hungry they are...lol. This is good for them...builds new skills and adaptation abilities.
I went to a baby shower on Saturday for one of my most favorite and dearest friends Jenna and had a wonderful time. It was held at Mimi's Cafe and for those of you who are not from around here is fabulous. One of my favorite meeting places for lunches with my friends. Homemade muffins served with every meal and the food...soooo good. We had 4 delicious item to choose from but I ordered a large orange juice and a large tomato juice. The good news is it didn't even bother me...yay. I was just there to celebrate the day with my special friend. A note about the kind of friend Jenna is...she has been a blessing in my life since the day I met her about 8 years ago. She is 34 and I am 51 so she is 17 years younger than me. We laugh that I could be her mother. The day I went into surgery for my bi-lateral mastectomy she got there at 7:00 in the morning.... never left my side until I went into surgery....she was there 4 hours later when I got out and she was the last one to leave....even after my family left she stayed and we even shared a few laughs. When she knew I was okay she left. I will cherish her friendship til the day I die.
What I am learning in this juice feasting venture...that our bodies are amazing and as long as we are giving it what it needs...good nourishment...we really don't need that much food for good health. Maybe the great gift of abundance we all share.....by the blessing of being born in the United States of America...is maybe part of our decline in health. I think we should appreciate the abundance but realize we don't have to indulge our every desire. Sometimes our desires can be our downfall. I am for the first time really looking at the food I am consuming and I see the richness of it with out cooking the life out of it...which is what out country does. We literally are eating dead food with no life force in it....and it is slowly and methodically killing the majority of us. Companies process it and add chemicals to it to preserve it...they homogenize and cook it til we destroy all the nutrients and kill the beneficial cancer killing enzymes...chemicals are added to enhance the flavor which addict us to it...they developed and use GMO grains which our bodies no longer recognize as a food....and we wonder why we have no energy and why we are sick with no vitality left in us. It is time as a nation we say no to the pollution of our food supply.
The juice feasting has really been going well. I have lost 19 lbs and my energy is greatly improved. I have noticed a change that I didn't expect and am really happy about. It seems my vision is improving...I see clearer and more details. But the best is my night blindness...it is almost gone...crazy. I love it. I really hated to drive at night because of the blinding lights so this is good.
Nights are still my enemy. I guess my body was used to me snacking at night. I have never been a binger. I am a grazer. Just a bite here and a bite there...but it was always at night mainly. Plus cooking dinner has always been a big thing for me and I miss that event. I have cooked twice when I felt strong enough to do so but my family knows for the next few months they basically are on there own. They will survive but I have heard a few moans now and then about HOW hungry they are...lol. This is good for them...builds new skills and adaptation abilities.
I went to a baby shower on Saturday for one of my most favorite and dearest friends Jenna and had a wonderful time. It was held at Mimi's Cafe and for those of you who are not from around here is fabulous. One of my favorite meeting places for lunches with my friends. Homemade muffins served with every meal and the food...soooo good. We had 4 delicious item to choose from but I ordered a large orange juice and a large tomato juice. The good news is it didn't even bother me...yay. I was just there to celebrate the day with my special friend. A note about the kind of friend Jenna is...she has been a blessing in my life since the day I met her about 8 years ago. She is 34 and I am 51 so she is 17 years younger than me. We laugh that I could be her mother. The day I went into surgery for my bi-lateral mastectomy she got there at 7:00 in the morning.... never left my side until I went into surgery....she was there 4 hours later when I got out and she was the last one to leave....even after my family left she stayed and we even shared a few laughs. When she knew I was okay she left. I will cherish her friendship til the day I die.
What I am learning in this juice feasting venture...that our bodies are amazing and as long as we are giving it what it needs...good nourishment...we really don't need that much food for good health. Maybe the great gift of abundance we all share.....by the blessing of being born in the United States of America...is maybe part of our decline in health. I think we should appreciate the abundance but realize we don't have to indulge our every desire. Sometimes our desires can be our downfall. I am for the first time really looking at the food I am consuming and I see the richness of it with out cooking the life out of it...which is what out country does. We literally are eating dead food with no life force in it....and it is slowly and methodically killing the majority of us. Companies process it and add chemicals to it to preserve it...they homogenize and cook it til we destroy all the nutrients and kill the beneficial cancer killing enzymes...chemicals are added to enhance the flavor which addict us to it...they developed and use GMO grains which our bodies no longer recognize as a food....and we wonder why we have no energy and why we are sick with no vitality left in us. It is time as a nation we say no to the pollution of our food supply.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Day 11
It just kinda dawned on me last night..I had made it ten days...pretty awesome. I think that in its self is a victory. I must say the realization of this accomplisment helped me last night. Really for the first time I was ravenous....not sure why hunger decided to step in but it did and with a bang. Because I was so hungry I also was pretty crabby...lol. Easiest way to solve this issue was to go to bed. So I did and actually fell asleep almost immediately.
I got home around 8:00 after my second wedding trial and a busy day. That may have been part of the reason for the hunger. Both trials were a success with both brides booking their weddings. Of course both their weddings are on the same days which we already have weddings scheduled...but luckily...not at the same time so it all worked out. Jessica and might have to bring in Tiana our assistant to help out as we will be doing additional people (bridesmaids, moms...) at both weddings and the other weddings as well. Gee too much work...not a bad thing. Thank you God !!!
So yesterday morning I tried a juice that is for energy...oh my gosh i was loaded with energy yesterday !!! Basically it is 6 carrots, 3 apples, and one inch of ginger root. It was pleasant to drink....not a wow but nice. Think I will be doing that one again.
Later In the day I juiced 3 turnips, 1 head of kale, one complete bag of celery and one green and one red pepper. It was bearable but like I said the green vegetable drinks are still taking me a while to get used to. Kale is loaded with vitamin C and magnesium but what I was really excited about was the turnip. Turnips have more calcium than dairy or any other vegetable, it is also good for high blood pressure and obesity. It also has excellent cancer fighting properties. Combining the kale with the turnip is crucial because you need the magnesium to absorb the calcium efficiently.
I have always enjoyed spending hours upon hours reading about health properties in herbs, vitamins and alternative health treatments. So I love when I know I am getting such wonderful nutrition. I have added hemp oil for my omega-3's and spirulina for additional protein to my regime which is recommended. Next I will add bee pollen and there is one more supplement I need but don't remember what it is...I will have to tell you about it at some point.
Today will be a lovely day of drawing my storyboards. Have a great day everyone !! Small challenge to you all to make sure you include at least one raw fruit and one raw veggie into you diet today. No cooking allowed...lol.
I got home around 8:00 after my second wedding trial and a busy day. That may have been part of the reason for the hunger. Both trials were a success with both brides booking their weddings. Of course both their weddings are on the same days which we already have weddings scheduled...but luckily...not at the same time so it all worked out. Jessica and might have to bring in Tiana our assistant to help out as we will be doing additional people (bridesmaids, moms...) at both weddings and the other weddings as well. Gee too much work...not a bad thing. Thank you God !!!
So yesterday morning I tried a juice that is for energy...oh my gosh i was loaded with energy yesterday !!! Basically it is 6 carrots, 3 apples, and one inch of ginger root. It was pleasant to drink....not a wow but nice. Think I will be doing that one again.
Later In the day I juiced 3 turnips, 1 head of kale, one complete bag of celery and one green and one red pepper. It was bearable but like I said the green vegetable drinks are still taking me a while to get used to. Kale is loaded with vitamin C and magnesium but what I was really excited about was the turnip. Turnips have more calcium than dairy or any other vegetable, it is also good for high blood pressure and obesity. It also has excellent cancer fighting properties. Combining the kale with the turnip is crucial because you need the magnesium to absorb the calcium efficiently.
I have always enjoyed spending hours upon hours reading about health properties in herbs, vitamins and alternative health treatments. So I love when I know I am getting such wonderful nutrition. I have added hemp oil for my omega-3's and spirulina for additional protein to my regime which is recommended. Next I will add bee pollen and there is one more supplement I need but don't remember what it is...I will have to tell you about it at some point.
Today will be a lovely day of drawing my storyboards. Have a great day everyone !! Small challenge to you all to make sure you include at least one raw fruit and one raw veggie into you diet today. No cooking allowed...lol.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Day 10
Wow...been super busy. We are back to re-filming the movie Orn. Some drama with a few members of the last cast so we had to recast several roles and now starting over. The new cast is awesome and I am once again enjoying the process. Which brings me to day 8 of juicing...We were meeting to go film at 3:00 in the afternoon. We drove 60 miles to a remote location called Rainbow Valley to film (beautiful spot). We were about halfway there when I realized I forgot my juice for the rest of the day. There was no way to turn around because I had no idea where the location was and we were to far anyways. I had brought plenty of water and umbrella and hat for the heat and hot Arizona sun. Of course there was a heat advisory out for the day and the humidity was quite high that day. Do you you see where this is going....???
I set up for makeup...in my car...I just had them sit in the seat with the car door open so they were in the shade as I applied it... but I had full sun on me in the heat of the day. I did okay the first hour but around 5:00 o'clock it hit me...heat exhaustion...plus my sugar levels dropped really fast. I really thought I was going to pass out plus extreme nausea...it was awful..the cast was great they put an umbrella over me as I was trying to finish the makeup...finally Dustin one of the actors turned on his truck so they loaded me and my makeup into his truck so I could work in there....I am not sure how I managed to finish but I did...so filming could start. Luckily I had an assistant Tiana helping me...she is in her first trimester of pregnancy so was worried about her...she also was feeling the effects of the heat. I had to ask the girls to do their own mascara cause my hands were too shaky. But Tiana and I both survived and the makeup was completed...probably not my best work but it was all wide shots so it wasn't as crucial.
After the makeup was over I knew I was in real trouble. I had no juice to stabilize my sugar levels...so I did eat 4 crackers which did save me. Thankfully my pregnant assistant had crackers...lol. We finished around 7 and drove back to the director's studio to finish filming a campfire scene...they all were going to eat pizza (once again torture cause I LOVE pizza) so instead of caving I made a quick dash home to juice...luckily the studio is only 10 minutes from my house. Totally revived me..well still feeling a tad weak.. but I knew I could go on and I did. We filmed behind his studio which he had green screens placed behind the campfire setup and he will CGI in the desert background in editing (amazing how it is done and you can't even tell). But that allowed me and Tiana to do makeup inside in the AC...did I say how much I love AC...lol. During the filming I was outside again but the sun was down and had a blast. The crew was great the makeup was perfect...for their closeups...it was awesome. I have to run and powder to remove any shine off skin and finesse hair in between each take as needed. We finished up around 11:00 pm and was home showered and in bed by 11:30. I was one tired girl.
So I get up the next morning and decided to step on the scale...I was thinking something must be wrong...got off...got on again and yep...in one day I had lost 4 lbs...lol. My reward for the day before...??? So to date...on day nine I have lost a total of 14 lbs. I rested and did storyboards for the next movie I will be working on for the rest of the day.
Today I have two bridal makeup trials so I am going to make sure I have my fresh juice with me so I won't have anymore episodes like that. Of course the bridal makeup will be done inside with ac...lol. Should be a fun day. Frankie who is a friend of mine and a hair stylist will be doing the hair. She is the cutest, prettiest and sweetest people I know...just love her. So any day I get to spend with her is a blessed day. I have heard (from Frankie) that this bride is a diva...and possibly a bridezilla....should be interesting. My second bride is sweet as can be and has never worn much makeup and should be just a joy to work with.
So all in all I have found the juicing to be surprisingly easy. I do have moments I want to eat and can be frustrating but I just tell my self it is only 92 days out of my life and I can do it. I ask God in to help me and am sure that is why it has gone so smoothly. God has never let me down...He truly is my constant companion in life and my champion. I can't imagine doing this without Him by my side and I really do believe He led me to this moment in my life.
I expected a lot more violent detox symptoms and other than the muscle aches and tiredness really that has been all. Adjusting my taste buds hopefully will happen sooner than later with the vegetable juice because at time I have to admit is like drinking grass. I sometimes have to hold my breath and take big gulps to get it down and am hoping I will eventually love or at least like very much the taste of the greens. Of course the fruit juice is yummy but unfortunately I have to limit myself to the amount I drink. I just drink it in the morning before noon.
Have I been carrying on??? I have always been more of a Chatty Cathy then a silent type...guess that is the same in my writing. Love you all thanks again for the support and the accountability so I make the right choice to drive home to juice instead of giving in and eating pizza.
I set up for makeup...in my car...I just had them sit in the seat with the car door open so they were in the shade as I applied it... but I had full sun on me in the heat of the day. I did okay the first hour but around 5:00 o'clock it hit me...heat exhaustion...plus my sugar levels dropped really fast. I really thought I was going to pass out plus extreme nausea...it was awful..the cast was great they put an umbrella over me as I was trying to finish the makeup...finally Dustin one of the actors turned on his truck so they loaded me and my makeup into his truck so I could work in there....I am not sure how I managed to finish but I did...so filming could start. Luckily I had an assistant Tiana helping me...she is in her first trimester of pregnancy so was worried about her...she also was feeling the effects of the heat. I had to ask the girls to do their own mascara cause my hands were too shaky. But Tiana and I both survived and the makeup was completed...probably not my best work but it was all wide shots so it wasn't as crucial.
After the makeup was over I knew I was in real trouble. I had no juice to stabilize my sugar levels...so I did eat 4 crackers which did save me. Thankfully my pregnant assistant had crackers...lol. We finished around 7 and drove back to the director's studio to finish filming a campfire scene...they all were going to eat pizza (once again torture cause I LOVE pizza) so instead of caving I made a quick dash home to juice...luckily the studio is only 10 minutes from my house. Totally revived me..well still feeling a tad weak.. but I knew I could go on and I did. We filmed behind his studio which he had green screens placed behind the campfire setup and he will CGI in the desert background in editing (amazing how it is done and you can't even tell). But that allowed me and Tiana to do makeup inside in the AC...did I say how much I love AC...lol. During the filming I was outside again but the sun was down and had a blast. The crew was great the makeup was perfect...for their closeups...it was awesome. I have to run and powder to remove any shine off skin and finesse hair in between each take as needed. We finished up around 11:00 pm and was home showered and in bed by 11:30. I was one tired girl.
So I get up the next morning and decided to step on the scale...I was thinking something must be wrong...got off...got on again and yep...in one day I had lost 4 lbs...lol. My reward for the day before...??? So to date...on day nine I have lost a total of 14 lbs. I rested and did storyboards for the next movie I will be working on for the rest of the day.
Today I have two bridal makeup trials so I am going to make sure I have my fresh juice with me so I won't have anymore episodes like that. Of course the bridal makeup will be done inside with ac...lol. Should be a fun day. Frankie who is a friend of mine and a hair stylist will be doing the hair. She is the cutest, prettiest and sweetest people I know...just love her. So any day I get to spend with her is a blessed day. I have heard (from Frankie) that this bride is a diva...and possibly a bridezilla....should be interesting. My second bride is sweet as can be and has never worn much makeup and should be just a joy to work with.
So all in all I have found the juicing to be surprisingly easy. I do have moments I want to eat and can be frustrating but I just tell my self it is only 92 days out of my life and I can do it. I ask God in to help me and am sure that is why it has gone so smoothly. God has never let me down...He truly is my constant companion in life and my champion. I can't imagine doing this without Him by my side and I really do believe He led me to this moment in my life.
I expected a lot more violent detox symptoms and other than the muscle aches and tiredness really that has been all. Adjusting my taste buds hopefully will happen sooner than later with the vegetable juice because at time I have to admit is like drinking grass. I sometimes have to hold my breath and take big gulps to get it down and am hoping I will eventually love or at least like very much the taste of the greens. Of course the fruit juice is yummy but unfortunately I have to limit myself to the amount I drink. I just drink it in the morning before noon.
Have I been carrying on??? I have always been more of a Chatty Cathy then a silent type...guess that is the same in my writing. Love you all thanks again for the support and the accountability so I make the right choice to drive home to juice instead of giving in and eating pizza.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Day 4 and 5...
Wait a minute...did I miss a day somewhere cause this is starting day 6....lol...so confused.
Woke up today at 3:30 wide awake...made my husbands lunch as coffee as usual but something different today. I am wide awake and feeling great. The no coffee thing has been really very easy and surprisingly so because coffee has been part of my morning routine since I was a wee little girl. Mornings have always been a special time of day for me. I was a daddy's girl. My mom and sister liked to sleep in, so most mornings it was dad and me at the breakfast table. Oh how I loved being with him. He was the smartest and most handsome man in the world...especially to an adoring daughter!! He would wake me up singing "You are My Sunshine" (got annoying when I was a teenager). We had a farm in Colorado and the floors were cold so he would carry me downstairs (of course that stopped when I was a teenager...lol) and we would have our morning coffee together...mine was mostly milk with sugar. Hmmmm....wonder if that was the beginning of my insulin issues...jk. Sometimes he would put on the record player and we would listen to Conway Twitty, Ray Price and all the old-time country favorites. Sometimes we would dance...when I was little I would stand on his toes when we danced. I loved when he twirled me. He was a great dad.
Did I tell you he died at 52 of a massive coronary? I am 51...He is part of the reason I am on this journey. He was a smoker both my mom and dad were...at least I have never smoked. Thank God for that. I often am sorrowed by the great loss of his life. My children never got to meet the great man that was my father and their grandfather. I want to be alive to see my children get married and I want to enjoy being a grandmother to their children...and to make sure my children never feel the same loss of losing a parent too soon.
DNA is not on my side...later I probably will feel led to discuss the loss of my mom at 64 to cancer but not today...to much sad stuff. So with the bad DNA...I need to do what I need to do to prolong my life.
I had a big victory last night. I had a meeting with the coordinator, models and a few of the designers for the "Rock Your Curves" fashion show which Pretty Faces Makeup Company is doing lead makeup. It's is going to be so much fun. Guess where the meeting was held...Macayo's my favorite Mexican food restaurant. I love their chili relleno's...to die for... (bad or good choice of words????). I am sitting there... first the chips and salsa come out...I thought to myself...could I drink the salsa...lol? I just had ice tea with squeezed lemon....extra lemon please. I probably shouldn't have had that but the lesser of the two evils. Then everbody's appetizers came out...guacamole, cheese crisps, mini tacos and chimi's..need I go on...lol. I survived with no food going into my mouth...pure determination (and torture) let me tell you. The meeting went great and I was proud of myself for not breaking my "feast".
Have had my first realizations and roadblocks the last couple of days. I NEED a better juicer. I have a Juiceman but it takes forever and I don't get enough juice...using way to much produce and taking me 40 minutes to get one quart...the opening of the tube to put the produce through is to small so it takes forever to feed the f&v through. Plus I have to cut everything up pretty thin to fit it through. I went online and will be ordering a new juice tomorrow. Still researching the best one to buy for the best price. I still am using to much fruit to make sure I get a quart each time I juice because you get so much more juice from fruit than veggies...hopefully over time...I will figure that one out. I am spending around $20.00 a day on produce. The waste is hard for me because I am so frugal in the kitchen. I have always been so good at making sure everything is used to create our family meals...I would love to use some of the leftovers somehow but I still am not strong enough to cook for the family yet. They are missing my home-cooked meals....maybe soon?
Well starting to ramble...but thanks everyone who reads this...helps me to be accountable on my journey.
Woke up today at 3:30 wide awake...made my husbands lunch as coffee as usual but something different today. I am wide awake and feeling great. The no coffee thing has been really very easy and surprisingly so because coffee has been part of my morning routine since I was a wee little girl. Mornings have always been a special time of day for me. I was a daddy's girl. My mom and sister liked to sleep in, so most mornings it was dad and me at the breakfast table. Oh how I loved being with him. He was the smartest and most handsome man in the world...especially to an adoring daughter!! He would wake me up singing "You are My Sunshine" (got annoying when I was a teenager). We had a farm in Colorado and the floors were cold so he would carry me downstairs (of course that stopped when I was a teenager...lol) and we would have our morning coffee together...mine was mostly milk with sugar. Hmmmm....wonder if that was the beginning of my insulin issues...jk. Sometimes he would put on the record player and we would listen to Conway Twitty, Ray Price and all the old-time country favorites. Sometimes we would dance...when I was little I would stand on his toes when we danced. I loved when he twirled me. He was a great dad.
Did I tell you he died at 52 of a massive coronary? I am 51...He is part of the reason I am on this journey. He was a smoker both my mom and dad were...at least I have never smoked. Thank God for that. I often am sorrowed by the great loss of his life. My children never got to meet the great man that was my father and their grandfather. I want to be alive to see my children get married and I want to enjoy being a grandmother to their children...and to make sure my children never feel the same loss of losing a parent too soon.
DNA is not on my side...later I probably will feel led to discuss the loss of my mom at 64 to cancer but not today...to much sad stuff. So with the bad DNA...I need to do what I need to do to prolong my life.
I had a big victory last night. I had a meeting with the coordinator, models and a few of the designers for the "Rock Your Curves" fashion show which Pretty Faces Makeup Company is doing lead makeup. It's is going to be so much fun. Guess where the meeting was held...Macayo's my favorite Mexican food restaurant. I love their chili relleno's...to die for... (bad or good choice of words????). I am sitting there... first the chips and salsa come out...I thought to myself...could I drink the salsa...lol? I just had ice tea with squeezed lemon....extra lemon please. I probably shouldn't have had that but the lesser of the two evils. Then everbody's appetizers came out...guacamole, cheese crisps, mini tacos and chimi's..need I go on...lol. I survived with no food going into my mouth...pure determination (and torture) let me tell you. The meeting went great and I was proud of myself for not breaking my "feast".
Have had my first realizations and roadblocks the last couple of days. I NEED a better juicer. I have a Juiceman but it takes forever and I don't get enough juice...using way to much produce and taking me 40 minutes to get one quart...the opening of the tube to put the produce through is to small so it takes forever to feed the f&v through. Plus I have to cut everything up pretty thin to fit it through. I went online and will be ordering a new juice tomorrow. Still researching the best one to buy for the best price. I still am using to much fruit to make sure I get a quart each time I juice because you get so much more juice from fruit than veggies...hopefully over time...I will figure that one out. I am spending around $20.00 a day on produce. The waste is hard for me because I am so frugal in the kitchen. I have always been so good at making sure everything is used to create our family meals...I would love to use some of the leftovers somehow but I still am not strong enough to cook for the family yet. They are missing my home-cooked meals....maybe soon?
Well starting to ramble...but thanks everyone who reads this...helps me to be accountable on my journey.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Day 3...
So this morning made my run to Sprouts for the beginning of my 4th day. It was fun looking at the array of fruits and vegetables as I studied them I was thinking about as I go along I will grow in my knowledge of each one and learn the health benefits each one will provide for me.
Yesterday I made the most delicious juice combination. It was celery, carrots and tomatoes. I seasoned it it with garlic, turmeric, pepper and just a tad of sea salt with a few splashes of Tabasco...mmmmm it was delicious. I ran out of vegetables in the evening so I did what I really want to avoid and had just fruit juice of watermelon and peaches. It was wonderful...I then looked up all the health benefits of watermelon and I was amazed. I found a great website http://www.healthy-juicing.com that will tell you the benefits of almost any fruit or vegtable...and the benefits of watermelon is too many to mention. Next I need to look up the health benefits of peaches. I do know peaches are good for starving the capillaries that feed cancer tumors...it is a process called anti-angiogenesis.
I do have to admit day three has been the hardest so far. Just felt out of it and am experiencing muscle pain which is from the detoxing of heavy metals and other toxins...which is a good thing. I knew when I started that I would experience the discomfort of detoxing before I get to feel the benefits...it is part of the process.
Plus I wanted to eat. It wasn't overwhelming... the desire to "chew"...lol...but it was there kinda all day. When my family was eating fried chicken with potato salad and coleslaw...have to say the smells were tough. But I was victorious and happy that I didn't fall for the temptation. The reward...in three days I have lost 8 lbs. Of course probably still water weight loss but this gal will take whatever she can get.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Day 2....
First I want to say how easy day 1 was...wow... felt great and was never hungry...in fact I had to force myself to drink juice in the evening. I literally was NOT hungry...weird...cause that never happens too me...lol. I did have 2 severe cramps in my legs last night..you know the kind you have to hop out of bed quickly to stand and stretch out the leg. The doctor has me on a water pill because my body likes to retain water so maybe the combination of the two??? I am going to take a potassium supplement today plus make sure I juice celery so I get just a bit of sodium in my diet. It is funny I am not doing this for weight loss only but an important part of my recovery is to get my weight down. So I lost 4 lbs...lol...all water of course...no wonder I had the leg cramps...but still does give you motivation. By 9:00 pm I was extremely tired but had a busy day and was on the set doing makeup all evening. I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow and slept like a baby ...well... until the leg cramps...lol.
Will be interesting how much weight I will lose. The two men in the movie "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" both lost 80-100 lbs and they only did the 60 day juice feast. Both their health was dramatically improved and both were off any medications by the time they ended. Supposedly because this is so health and I will be getting all the micro-nutrients it also help build the elastins, amino acids and collagen in your skin so a person doesn't end up with the hanging skin like gastro-bypass recipients. My husband asked my if I lost all 4 pounds in my face because did wake up looking really thinner in my face. When I eat the wrong foods I can really tell in my face..it gets puffy. Another thing I noticed my nose is not stuffy...weird as I always seen to have some congestion due to all my allergy food issues. I didn't think I would notice so many minor changes in just one day. Definitely motivates me to continue.
Will be interesting how much weight I will lose. The two men in the movie "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" both lost 80-100 lbs and they only did the 60 day juice feast. Both their health was dramatically improved and both were off any medications by the time they ended. Supposedly because this is so health and I will be getting all the micro-nutrients it also help build the elastins, amino acids and collagen in your skin so a person doesn't end up with the hanging skin like gastro-bypass recipients. My husband asked my if I lost all 4 pounds in my face because did wake up looking really thinner in my face. When I eat the wrong foods I can really tell in my face..it gets puffy. Another thing I noticed my nose is not stuffy...weird as I always seen to have some congestion due to all my allergy food issues. I didn't think I would notice so many minor changes in just one day. Definitely motivates me to continue.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Picking up my Veggies
I woke up bright and early exited to go pick up my 2 Bountiful Baskets of fruits and vegetables. I am pretty pleased with the results. I got bananas, potatoes, green bean and eggplants that I won't be able to juice but the rest of the family can enjoy those with their meals and bananas always go quick at our house.
The rest of the baskets had cabbage, leafy greens, apples, peaches, cantaloupe,plums, tomatoes and grapes. I will definitively have to supplement with more leafy greens and more variety of vegetable but this is an excellent start. All in all I am happy with what I received.
I juiced one quart so far...3 to go to meet my required goal. I juiced one cantaloupe...one head of leafy green...(not sure of the name of what I used..will have to check at store...lol sure I will be a vegetable expert when I am done with this :)...and 2 peaches. Tastes really pretty good and refreshing. I need to watch my fruit but I think for my first one I am going for taste. I will for lunch do a spicy juice with some peppers and tomatoes for more of a salsa taste. What combo shall I have for dinner???? It didn't take too long to prepare from start to cleanup about 15 minutes.
I woke up with a headache this morning...went to the movies and since I knew I was starting this decided to indulge with popcorn, a coke and yes some Thin Mints...I didn't eat them all just a few and we came home with half a bag of popcorn and the coke half full...shared them with my husband so I didn't go crazy....But I always if I eat the wrong things wake up with a headache. Simplex carbs are my enemy along with high fructose corn syrup. Just a BIG reminder of why I am doing this and I really can never go back if I want to be healthy, headache free and receive the immense clarity and vibrant health I am desiring.
So here I go head first..heart first... into what I hope and believe is the beginning of a very important crossroads of my life path. I know there will be bumps and at times be a rocky road but will lead to that lovely and beautiful place I hope to discover.
The rest of the baskets had cabbage, leafy greens, apples, peaches, cantaloupe,plums, tomatoes and grapes. I will definitively have to supplement with more leafy greens and more variety of vegetable but this is an excellent start. All in all I am happy with what I received.
I juiced one quart so far...3 to go to meet my required goal. I juiced one cantaloupe...one head of leafy green...(not sure of the name of what I used..will have to check at store...lol sure I will be a vegetable expert when I am done with this :)...and 2 peaches. Tastes really pretty good and refreshing. I need to watch my fruit but I think for my first one I am going for taste. I will for lunch do a spicy juice with some peppers and tomatoes for more of a salsa taste. What combo shall I have for dinner???? It didn't take too long to prepare from start to cleanup about 15 minutes.
I woke up with a headache this morning...went to the movies and since I knew I was starting this decided to indulge with popcorn, a coke and yes some Thin Mints...I didn't eat them all just a few and we came home with half a bag of popcorn and the coke half full...shared them with my husband so I didn't go crazy....But I always if I eat the wrong things wake up with a headache. Simplex carbs are my enemy along with high fructose corn syrup. Just a BIG reminder of why I am doing this and I really can never go back if I want to be healthy, headache free and receive the immense clarity and vibrant health I am desiring.
So here I go head first..heart first... into what I hope and believe is the beginning of a very important crossroads of my life path. I know there will be bumps and at times be a rocky road but will lead to that lovely and beautiful place I hope to discover.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
I ordered my first baskets of fruits and vegetables from Bountiful Baskets. Bountiful Baskets is a Coop to get your veggies and fruits for half the cost in the grocery stores but still get the same quality. First time I have used them so I don't know what to expect but am looking forward to picking them up. You register online, order on Monday, find the pickup location closest to you and then pick up on Saturday. There is only a 20 minute window to pick up your veggies so you can't be late. Good thing I am an early bird as my pick up is Saturday at 6:30 in the morning but a pretty close location. You have to volunteer once every two month to participate and you can get up to three baskets a week. For organic it is $25.00 per basket to receive $50.00 of produce...pretty good deal.
So as my day first day to new health soon will begin...I am saying goodbye to a few favorites...mainly coffee. I never thought I would give that up...lol. I have felt for awhile it was something I needed to do but definitely fought that one. Next is chocolate....women you understand that one. And meat...I really do enjoy meat but know for now I need to give it up, maybe even for life? Not sure.... we will see how that works out. I am a protein metabolic type but I know I can receive my proteins through my green veggies.
I was watching a video about the 92 day Juice feast and he was saying the Universe will throw up roadblock to prevent this change in my life and you know I have encountered a few. He said once the universe knows I am serious the roadblocks will lessen and finally go away. Now my philosophy is different but it really is biblical truth. Once you begin something God wants the world will try to stop it. So I have been praying for the wisdom and strength to determine God's will in my journey and His strength and blessing as I believe with all my heart He has led me to this point. I believe He has placed his healing foods here on earth for my and all our healing. We just need to listen to our bodies and our hearts and it will tell us what we need.
Yay !!! I am so excited to begin. Not looking forward to the detoxing stage....but it will pass and I know part of this journey some bad to get the good.
So as my day first day to new health soon will begin...I am saying goodbye to a few favorites...mainly coffee. I never thought I would give that up...lol. I have felt for awhile it was something I needed to do but definitely fought that one. Next is chocolate....women you understand that one. And meat...I really do enjoy meat but know for now I need to give it up, maybe even for life? Not sure.... we will see how that works out. I am a protein metabolic type but I know I can receive my proteins through my green veggies.
I was watching a video about the 92 day Juice feast and he was saying the Universe will throw up roadblock to prevent this change in my life and you know I have encountered a few. He said once the universe knows I am serious the roadblocks will lessen and finally go away. Now my philosophy is different but it really is biblical truth. Once you begin something God wants the world will try to stop it. So I have been praying for the wisdom and strength to determine God's will in my journey and His strength and blessing as I believe with all my heart He has led me to this point. I believe He has placed his healing foods here on earth for my and all our healing. We just need to listen to our bodies and our hearts and it will tell us what we need.
Yay !!! I am so excited to begin. Not looking forward to the detoxing stage....but it will pass and I know part of this journey some bad to get the good.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Just a Bit of History
Okay...so I have decided to do this...it has been a journey...a long journey. 26 years. But here I am.
I am committing myself to a 92 Day Juice "Feast". It is called a feast instead of a fast because I will be getting daily a super load of micro-nutrients !! I will be getting enough calories, proteins and all the goodies I will need to not only sustain my body but to purify it, cleanse it and rebuild it to the health I was in my 20's. 92 days will take me back 30 years in health to undo all the bad the SAD (Standard American) Diet has done to my health.
One year ago I was preparing for surgery. I was undergoing a bi-lateral mastectomy for breast cancer. I am 120+ lbs over weight...I am sick...I am scared and I am blessed. The breast cancer in a strange way has been a blessing. It has woken me up to the reality I can not eat like the rest of the world. I am extremely intolerant and have severe food allergies to what most people can eat with normal or minimal reactions. How did my body get to the point where my immune system was so compromised by inflammation, combined with hormonal imbalances was susceptible to the beginnings of a death sentence like cancer.
After my discovery of the "lump" and even before the diagnosis of breast cancer I immediately went to eating a raw diet (which I have experimented with in the past), along with the Budwig Protocol and daily quarts of green smoothies til i went into surgery. I went from being diagnosed with a late stage 2 aggressive form of breast cancer to a zero after all the tissue was tested after being removed from my breasts. Due to this I was blessed not to have to do chemotherapy or radiation which I might have chosen not to do anyways. I already knew the power of healing foods.
For the last year I have slipped back into the way I have been eating for the last 26 years. I am not an over eater. I don't binge eat. I actually eat pretty healthy. Lots of fruits and veggies. I try to avoid processed food. What I can't eat is grains and gluten. I have a sugar sensitivity which makes me extremely insulin, leptin and metabolic resistant. So when I consume even what most would consider healthy foods my body reacts with rushes of insulin being released and calories being stored.
I have spent years going to the doctors trying to figure out why I gained 100 lbs in 4 months when I was pregnant (and no I didn't eat for 2 and let my self go) and could never lose it. I was 27 and up to that point I was always a thin person with no weight issues at all. Then after that no matter what I did I would be steadily gaining. I then got on the yo-yo dieting regime. Lose and regain...lose and regain...which I didn't know at the time was making all my issues worse. I was desperate to lose the weight and hating myself for not being able to do. I always got the typical remarks from doctors...calories in and expenditure out...grrrr. They were rude and looked at me like I was some closet eater in denial sitting on the couch all day watching soap operas and emotionally eating plates of fudge. So did the world. Oh.... the countless advise I got from most well meaning people. I used to cringe inside...did they think I was stupid???...like I didn't already know that???? Like I hadn't already tried that countless time??? I exercised...I did all the right thing to no avail...I do think it kept me in check so I didn't balloon up to 500+ lbs. I really believe if I wasn't always on top of it I easily could have been that person. If I would have ever given in to my plight or to the food...who knows where I would be to this day but I am a fighter and I refused to give in....I still refuse. At times I would feel helpless and stop trying just for a bit but then the weight would start creeping it's way back so I would gather the strength to keep looking for the answers. Keep putting one foot in front of the other...literally...lol.
The internet. What a wonderful thing. Answers and lots of them. I willingly went on the long and lengthy journey. It took me years of research (26 to date) to put it all together. Then to load myself with information about real nutrition and real advice from alternative health sites many by "real" doctors who themselves were frustrated with our health system. To learn about the amazing herbs, plants and foods that were healing for me. To realize there were real answers out there not dictated by the traditional western medical doctrine that almost all physician adhere to and were taught approved by the FDA and backed by the pharmaceutics corporations....which I had learned not to trust because to me they were lies. I have learned about genetically engineered foods (GMO's) and the dangers and contamination of our food supply...oh I could go on but I won't for now...I am very passionate about what our world is doing to get richer to the detriment of our health.
All I know...I didn't fit in the box the world had created for me. And no one in the medical word really seemed to care. They just want to give me pills to mask the problem instead of getting to the root of why my body is different... instead of healing me totally and completely. So this is my goal to reverse the damage that has been done to my body and to my health. To try and rediscover my health. As I am nearing my one year anniversary from the removal of breast cancer from my body and a year before that I had basal skin cancer removed from the tip of my nose...I know my body is still fighting with the same issues and I need to do something dramatic to resolve them. To reboot and re-balance my body.
I hope to begin by August 1rst after getting all my results back from my doctor (yes I still believe in going to doctors even though I don't allow my health to be wholly in their hands)...I will post a daily blog on my progress and at some point share before and after pictures...during and at the end of my journey. I am hoping to share this journey with you to show there are alternative ways to achieve health along side and with your doctors recommendations. This is my journey and I would never recommend doing this with out first consulting your doctor.
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